Employee criticizes coworker for doing too much work on a company retreat and refusing to spend time with the team: 'Her working ruined the group dynamic for the rest of us.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 21, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

Why are her meetings and work obligations any of his business? 

Have you ever had a coworker who gave their all to the company, but ended up getting little to nothing in return? Growing up, we were all taught that if we worked hard and played by the rules, we would be rewarded. Hard workers got good grades, got into top colleges, and had a guaranteed future in whatever field they chose! It's a sad reality that hard work doesn't always pay off in the working world. Someone can grind in their position for years, sacrificing their personal life and time with their family, only to never get the promotion or raise that they objectively deserve. One of the best skills a working person can develop is gauging whether their company has room for them to grow. If people around them get promoted after a couple of years of good work, it's probably worth sticking around and trying to get promoted as well. If their coworkers are constantly getting burnt out and leaving the job because no amount of hard work will ever be good enough, it's probably time for them to start updating their résumés.

It's hard enough when you have to work harder than everyone else to try to make your bosses happy. It's even more frustrating when your coworkers perceive you as being a try-hard who cares more about your work than you care about socializing with them. 

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  • 01
    An employee working while her coworkers hang out with each other on a company retreat.
    via Kristin Wilson

    An employee working while her coworkers hang out with each other on a company retreat. 

    Models pictured are not representative.

  • 02

    Am I the bad guy for telling my coworker her working from home during our office trip was ruining it for the rest of us?

    My company organizes a team trip once a year. Three days, nice location, mixture of some work sessions and a lot of team bonding time. The company pays for everything, hotel, meals, activities. It is genuinely one of the better things my workplace does and most people look forward to it.
    via jaweraishah
  • 03
    This year there were eight of us on the trip. My coworker Beth brought her laptop and spent the majority of the three days either on calls in her hotel room or sitting apart from the group on her phone dealing with work emails. She joined meals occasionally but was visibly distracted and left early twice to get back to her room for calls.
    via jaweraishah
  • 04
    On the last evening we had a group dinner that the company had specifically organized as a closing celebration. Beth showed up forty minutes late, sat at the end of the table, checked her phone constantly, and left before dessert because she had a call.
    via jaweraishah
  • 05
    An employee checking her phone instead of engaging with her coworkers.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    An employee checking her phone instead of engaging with her coworkers. 

    Picture does not depict real parties.

  • 06
    On the drive back I was sitting next to her and she mentioned she was exhausted and that the trip had been a lot with everything she had on her plate right now.
    via jaweraishah
  • 07
    I said something I probably should have thought through more carefully. I told her that it was noticeable that she had been working most of the trip and that it had affected the group dynamic because people kept waiting for her or adjusting plans around her availability.
    via jaweraishah
  • 08
    She went quiet and then said she had deadlines and not everyone could just switch off for three days. I said the company had organized cover for everyone specifically so we could be present for the trip and that choosing to work through it was a decision not a necessity.
    via jaweraishah
  • 09
    She has not spoken to me properly since we got back and mentioned to another colleague that I made her feel guilty for being dedicated to her job. AITA?
    via jaweraishah
  • 10
    Known-Grapefruit4032 YTA. Sounds like she's under a lot more pressure and has a lot more responsibility than you at work, and instead of asking if she was ok and how everything is within her role, you had a go at her for not being present for funsies.
    via Known-Grapefruit4032
  • 11
    clocktowerXmist Having deadlines is one thing but if the company literally hired assigned cover for everyone so they could step away that's on her or her manager for not setting boundaries OP definitely could've been more diplomatic but feeling annoyed when someone drags down the group vibe after everyone else cleared their workload makes sense too
    via clocktowerXmist
  • 12
    McGoodles It may be a fake cover though. Like maybe the cover answers the phones etc but all the work load is there when you get back so now you gotta fit the 3 "off" days work into the following 5 along with the normal 5. I know that's how it would be for me. "oh so and so covered for you but did they or did they just create a list of sh for me to do when I get back. Nope!
    via McGoodles
  • 13
    Hot Weather 2691 Or shoe could have just, you know, not gone on the trip?
    via Hot-Weather_2691
  • 14
    Jodenaje Perhaps she didn't even want to go but was told that she had to?
    via Jodenaje
  • 15
    Individual Spend_922 YTA. Even if you were right, making her feel bad when the extent of the negative consequences were "People were waiting for her and it affected the group dynamic" is just a sort of thing to do. You didn't have to do that. If she felt she had time to cut loose she would have, because noone enjoys working when they could be eating dinner or have fun.
    via Individual_Spend_922
  • 16
    SoundOfUnder ΥΤΑ. Also maybe you look forward to the trip but not everyone has to/does. I also work for a company that does 2 weekend stays every year and tbh I and a lot of coworkers feel pressured to go even though we'd prefer to just do our work and spend the little off time we have alone/with our families.
    via SoundOfUnder
  • 17
    Jodenaje Yeah, if I'm going to spend 3 days on a vacation, I want to pick what I'm doing and who I'm spending it with! I like my coworkers, but I don't need to spend 3 days on a "fun" trip with them. If we're going to a conference, fine. But a vacation type trip? Nah.
    via Jodenaje
  • 18
    McGoodles Sounds like she has a heavier load than you or she was not willing to be under pressure when she got back by holding off on work to "enjoy the fun". Also FYI that whole scenario for some people would be h_l. I would rather be in office per normal paying for own meals and going home at 5pm than have forced fun with work people in a hotel for 3 days even if it was all paid for. You'd never be off for those 3 days. You'd be turned on work mode in the evenings too. Absolute h_l. To me that
    via McGoodles
  • 19
    herecomes_the_sun My team had an abnormal series of deadlines hit all in two weeks. We had a record month, people were working late, made all our deadlines, hit awesome metrics. I immediately start telling my team to take an extra day off, go home early, etc. My boss calls to tell me hes noticed the team working hard pulling odd hours. And he wanted me to set up some "fun stuff after work" to "boost morale".
    via herecomes_the_sun
  • 20
    First of all - morale was shockingly good. We usually have a very nice culture and hours, and having a crazy two weeks wasnt world ending for folks when we were hitting a bunch of goals. Second, not sure why he thought people would want to spend their little precious free time after work, after two weeks of extra work, also at work "fun" lol. Told him he was being insane and that was that. We just want to go the f home.
    via herecomes_the_sun

  • Who do you think is in the right here? Would you be annoyed on a company retreat if one of your coworkers refused to hang out with you? Or would you leave them alone because you don't know how much they have on their plate?

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